Little twins!

During the work with Graziella, often the client can benefit from taking with him/herself a representative of his/her brother or sister: a little doll made of cloth, wood or other materials (paper is not a very good choice as it is a little too fragile).

This allows the person to get an emotional reassurance, exactly like having a transitional object. Which is something used very often with preschoolers to ease the parting and it’s usually chosen by the person himself/herself, so that the proportions, colors and details feel exactly right.

Sometimes adults tend to block “abnormal” behaviors in children (like talking to an imaginary friend or peluche/toy). But it is very important to accept and support both the behaviors and the expressions of needs of the child.

The disappearance of the symptom (he/she doesn’t speak to him/herself anymore) it’s actually a bad sign as it often means the child has internalized the impossibility of expressing him/herself and his/her needs and this can actually cause different psychic problems on the long term.

Especially with children reassurance is essential: both verbally, explaining how “it is normal to be sad because you miss your brother” for example, and emotionally, not denying them their need of relationship.

This does not mean fostering obsessive behaviors, but nurturing and support the vulnerability and specific needs of confirmation and emotional regulation that the child needs.